


12 Days of Chaos

by FictionalFeather



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Bird Puns, Gen, HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL, this may count as a crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-09-05 04:09:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16803358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionalFeather/pseuds/FictionalFeather
Summary: The Castle That Never Was gets a little strange around the holidays...but nobody suspected there'd be so many birds.





	12 Days of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on ff.net years ago, but with KH3 coming soon, I figured I'd share it here as well.
> 
> (Also, I know the song has a few different versions, but if you can't tell what's what from context, then I haven't done my job very well...)

On the First day, Xemnas discovered the bird. His first plan of action was to eviscerate Marluxia for giving it a tree to perch upon, but on second thought, how did a bird get into the Castle anyway?

*****

On the Second day, shots were heard from Xigbar's room, followed by a violent fluttering of wings and an expletive that conveyed the feeling he'd missed whatever he'd shot at.

Xemnas began to wonder if it were some prank being pulled by VIII.

*****

On the Third day, Xaldin began to be followed by a triplet of clucking pests, ones that not even his intimidating ignorance could quiet.

Xigbar was still in a sour mood from having targets that were good at eluding him.

Xemnas began to suspect a conspiracy of birds overrunning the Castle.

*****

On the Fourth day, Vexen accused everyone he saw of fowl play after his four gifts terrorized his laboratory.

Xaldin managed to divert Vexen's blame from his elders by giving him a glare that dared him to assume they were even slightly pleased with their burdens.

Xigbar wouldn't take his eye off his pair of targets, leading the rest of them to believe he'd soon be attempting a second shootout.

Xemnas thought that if any member showed any clemency to the birds, he'd sic his own winged friend on them. At least he'd be rid of it.

*****

On the Fifth day, Lexeaus began wearing rings. He glared more than usual at anyone who stared.

Vexen was in a fowl mood all day.

Xaldin continued to ignore his gifts.

Xigbar made a second attempt to rid himself of his birds. They hid behind Xaldin's hens.

Xemnas was eyeing V's rings contemplatively.

*****

On the Sixth day, Zexion rushed out of his room rather quickly, not saying a word but giving everyone accusatory glances.

Lexeaus didn't notice because he was examining his rings.

Vexen had shooed his birds outside, hoping the fowl weather would deal with them.

Xaldin was becoming rather adept at ignoring his hens.

Xigbar was cleaning his guns while staring down his birds with a wild look that made others give him a wide berth.

Xemnas attempted to swap his gift with Lexeaus, to no avail.

*****

On the Seventh day, Saïx was found sneering in contempt at his honking present.

Zexion made eggs for breakfast.

Lexeaus could still be seen eyeing his ringed fingers in appreciation.

Vexen told Saïx off for not attending to the fowl odor his birds created.

Xaldin's stoicism was beginning to fail him - the hens continued to peck at his carefully crafted hair.

Xigbar laughed wildly while eating his eggs, pointing his utensils accusingly at the pair of birds still keeping their distance from him.

Xemnas still couldn't get V's rings from him, but was beginning to think his own singular gift had been rather thoughtful.

*****

On the Eighth day, Axel didn't leave his room. Considering the noise level, nobody questioned why.

Saïx's gifts were almost just as loud.

Zexion made twice as many eggs.

Lexeaus busied himself switching his rings to different fingers, rubbing in the fact that he had no pesky birds about him.

Vexen let out a string of surprisingly fowl language when he learned that Axel didn't have to deal with feathers and excrement all day long.

Xaldin was looking increasingly ticked off at the fact that one of his hens had decided his head made a wonderful perch.

Xigbar was nowhere to be found. Most suspected he was crafting another plan. Most suspected it would fail.

Xemnas finally got the chance to get a closer look at V's rings, only to see the multiple bird designs adorning them. He promptly lost interest.

*****

On the Ninth day, Demyx couldn't get his Dancers to leave him alone. He even had the nerve to claim he hadn't summoned them.

Axel emerged from his room, hair looking even wilder than usual and a smug smile on his face, to grab nearly half over the overwhelmingly large pile of eggs Zexion had cooked and shuffle back to his room amid girlish giggles.

Saïx was incensed by the smell of eggs permeating the entire Castle, and complained nearly as loudly as his birds.

Zexion told him to eat more and talk less.

Lexeaus, strangely, was keeping his hands hidden at all times. Xemnas wondered if he'd managed to rid himself of his present.

Vexen had one of those rare days in which he tolerated Demyx's idiocy, because his gifts were actually something he was used to having fowl up the Castle.

Xaldin was finally showing emotion toward his birds after his head-percher was actually found to be nesting. Zexion had promptly tossed the egg in the pile while Xaldin glared murderously.

Xigbar was walking around the Castle, sketching out the ceilings and often walking on them to avoid the shrieks that inevitably happened whenever a winged creature touched him anymore.

Xemnas tried to hide away, but his bird became quite loud when not in close proximity to both him and other birds. So he lounged with the others, headache steadily growing.

*****

On the Tenth day, Luxord could not stop laughing. He'd taken to walking the entire Castle just to watch the locomotion happening in single file behind him.

Demyx was even temporarily distracted from running from his own Dancers to stop and laugh as well.

Axel emerged once more, looking more satisfied than he had any right to be, glanced around at the chaos, grabbed breakfast again, and retreated.

Saïx was sending murderous intent towards both Luxord and Axel, wondering if his surprisingly vicious birds would pick up on it.

Zexion did not make eggs for breakfast, nor anything else. He sat by himself with a thoughtful look on his face.

Lexeaus was found sitting in a corner, attempting to pull the rings off his fingers and failing. This only made Luxord laugh even more.

Vexen was shooting particularly fowl looks toward Luxord and his annoying antics.

Xaldin was actively batting away the hens with pecked fingers, but still found himself having to give eggs to Zexion, who had begun refusing to accept them.

Xigbar was no longer attempting anything. He sat and stared emptily at the mess around him, and his lethargy was deemed extremely off-putting.

Xemnas was starting to take extreme measures. He figured he could hide his bird in Xaldin's hair and run before either bird or man figured him out. He was wrong.

*****

On the Eleventh day, Marluxia received a rude awakening. It was quite humiliating.

Luxord, still enjoying himself, immediately began requesting songs.

Demyx still looked thorougly creeped out by the attention his own Nobodies were giving him, and refused to sit still for very long.

Axel finally started looking like his usual self when he came out to tell Marluxia that he was being too loud.

Saïx got his birds riled up when he started shouting at Axel for being hypocritical, who in return promptly told him he was just jealous.

Zexion served them meat of unknown origin for breakfast. They ate while being stared down by the five birds that had finally escaped from Zexion's room, and decided against questioning about the source of their breakfast.

Lexeaus approached Xemnas with his hands hidden in his pockets, offering to take him up on his offer. Xemnas wondered how he got the rings off, if he ever did, and thought he'd be better off sticking with his bird.

Vexen was thinking about accusing Zexion of ridding himself of his presents via fowl means.

Xaldin was looking quite angry, and everyone knew that was never a good thing, so they kept well away from him and held back their laughter at the hen on his head.

Xigbar stuck close to Xaldin, muttering for only them to hear, looking like he was concocting some crazed plan.

Xemnas felt like screaming.

*****

On the Twelfth day, Larxene laughed as her surprise turned into piles of ash.

Marluxia was trying to see how much control he had over his gifts, but had to take constant breaks from the incessant music that blared whenever he got close.

Luxord was finally winding down from his jolity, but still chuckled every time he stood.

Demyx had retreated to his room with his Dancers after a very close chat with Axel. Nobody really wanted to know what he was doing in there.

Axel was telling Larxene that she and Marluxia could have formed a band, and narrowly escaped more of her wrath.

Saïx was offering his presents to Zexion.

Zexion was wondering if XII's lightning would cause too much of a burnt flavor.

Lexaeus was no longer paying attention to anything, still desperately trying to pull the bands from his fingers.

Vexen told Larxene she was fowl. She laughed in his face.

Xaldin propositioned Larxene for pest control. She accepted.

Xigbar's birds were caught in the blast. He hugged her.

Xemnas, bird in hand, gave up.


End file.
